


Escape Dreams

by bananaixiucream



Category: EXO
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 22:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14198913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananaixiucream/pseuds/bananaixiucream
Summary: Everytime Minseok falls asleep he wakes up married to different EXO member.





	Escape Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I already like this prompt ever since i found it in tumblr, but... I'm sorry, prompter. I definitely messed up this prompt.

Minseok woke up as the alarm went off. Sleepily, he reached over the watch to turn it off. It was a blurry 6 o’clock. There was someone hugging him from his back. He turned around to see who it was. He was puzzled. It was Kyungsoo. Why was Kyungsoo in his bed with him?

“You’re up, love?” Kyungsoo mumbled as he sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

Love? Why did he call him love? Did he mistake him with other person?

Looking at his confusion look, Kyungsoo smiled and cupped his face before pecked him in the lips, making him more flustered.

“My Minseok-hyung’s waking up expression is so cute.” Kyungsoo said as hugged him closer.

His Minseok-hyung? Him? He was Kyungsoo’s?

His lips formed a smile and his arms hugged the younger man back. “Good morning, Kyungsoo,” he said unconsciously.

This was weird. Was he always this affectionate with Kyungsoo. Were he and Kyungsoo this close to the point of sleeping together and sharing kisses? But why did all of these feel so natural?

“Do you want to take a bath together?” Kyungsoo asked gently while playing with his fingers. Minseok realized he had a silver ring in his left ring finger, like how Kyungsoo did too.

Not answering, Kyungsoo took his silence as a yes and pulled him off the bed, leading him to the bathroom. As being led, Minseok watched how this bedroom felt so unfamiliar but somehow he belonged here. There was a big photo frame across the bed. It was a photo of their wedding. Oh, right. He was married to Kyungsoo, wasn’t he? Was he? Somehow he had no recollection of it. But from the feeling of Kyungsoo holding his hand and his fast beating heart, he could tell that they were indeed at least lovers. There was no way his heart doing frantic dance in its cage if he didn’t have romantic feelings to the young man, right? But since when?

As if it was something he did daily, Minseok easily kissed back when Kyungsoo cornered him to the shower stand and kissed him hard in the mouth. It was scary how his body seemed to be so used to this since in the last memory he had he was nowhere as skilled on kissing as him now. It was so scary how willing his body responded to Kyungsoo’s invasion.

“Hyung, I love you.” Kyungsoo whispered in his ears as both of them reached their high. Minseok felt like he heard it millionth times yet also the first time.

“I love y-

_“Hyung, please don’t leave...” A strong grip held his hand painfully._

_“Let me go, Do Kyungsoo! I’m tired.” He shook away the grip and left the younger man alone._

Minseok choked at the sudden memory flashing through his mind. It came so suddenly and he couldn’t place what kind of event that memory took place in. He and Kyungsoo in that memory sounded so broken it was very sad. He could literally feel his hurt from that memory. It seemed like a very important memory but he couldn’t dig more of it.

“Hyung, did I hurt you?” Kyungsoo wiped his tears gently. Minseok realized he was crying. Minseok remembered Kyungsoo from his flashback, looking fragile and sad. Kyungsoo in front of him was strong and happy. He prefer this Kyungsoo. He should be happy that Kyungsoo didn’t look hurt like how he did in his memory. Like how the shower wiped away their bodily fluid from their body, Minseok felt like he was somehow forgiven for things he couldn’t even remember by seeing Kyungsoo’s face.

He shook his head and kissed his forehead. “Nothing, I’m just overwhelmed by happiness.”

“You surprised me. Let’s hurry clean up. I’ll cook your favorite breakfast.”

Breakfast was nice. Minseok didn’t remember pancake was his favorite breakfast but the coffee was always his favorite.

“You don’t have any shooting today?” He asked smoothly.

“No. it’s changed to tomorrow.” Kyungsoo answered.

He wondered how he knew Kyungsoo had any shoot and how it was easy for him to ask when in fact he didn’t remember anything about the two of them.

“We have today full for ourselves.” Kyungsoo said happily.

“But I thought you had a schedule today, so I already plan to do some cleaning today.” Did he? Really? Maybe he did. It was weird. This was him, the consciousness was him but it seemed the physical was not him. What was wrong with him?

“I’ll help you.”

After having breakfast, Minseok like in autopilot doing the cleaning of the house he was sure not familiar with but cleaned it perfectly anyway. Kyungsoo was, like how he remember Kyungsoo, always helpful, not like some people.

Huh? Who? Who were these people he compared Kyungsoo to? What did he forget?

He blinked away his sleepiness. Did he fall asleep in the middle of cleaning? For his defense, the couch was so comfortable. As expected from a musician’s style. The lounge had to be cozy.

Eh? Musician? Was his lover a musician?

He was surprised at the sound of chuckle across the room. Yixing was laughing at him. Minseok pouted. How dare him.

“You are so cute when you are confused, Minseok-hyung.” Yixing smiled his cute dimpled smile, making Minseok unconsciously swooned.

“And you are so cute when you are being a horny rabbit.”

“Eh? When was I?” Yixing blushed. So cute indeed.

“This morning, just as we woke up you make us did it in the bathroom.”

“EH? No. We didn’t. I came home late remember?”

“Huh? You did?”

“Yeah.”

Suddenly Minseok remembered he opened the door to Yixing this morning. Yixing was staying up in his studio last night. Then what was that other memory? Was that memory really his memory?

“Hmm? Did I dream it?”

Yixing laughed. “Minseok-hyung is pervert. You dreamed of us doing it in the bathroom? Do you miss me that much? Ah, my husband is too cute.” Yixing said as he hugged him.

This time it was Minseok’s time to blush. Was he really that lonely that he dreamed such vulgar dream? But why did it not feel like he was with Yixing. But he couldn’t imagine anyone else. It was Yixing, right? What he was sure that he was with his husband so it should be Yixing.

“Minseok-hyung what are you thinking about?” Yixing’s question woke him up from his thought.

“Nothing. How’s your new song going?” Minseok asked like it was natural to ask him that when in fact, he didn’t have any idea Yixing was in the middle of creating a new song.

“I think I did well! I want you to hear it, hyung. I have you in my mind as I composed it.” Yixing said excitedly. Minseok always loved seeing that eyes burning with passion. Yixing was gifted with talent and always worked so hard ever since he knew him before they debut.

Hmm? What debut? He might be crazy. His mind was in chaos. He couldn’t think straight and he couldn’t remember things right. He wondered what was wrong with him.

They went to Yixing’s private studio room in the house. There was a grand piano in the center of the room and Yixing sat in front of it as Minseok sat in a chair not far from him. It was a VIP chair, Minseok mused to himself.

“Why are you grinning?” Yixing asked while opening the cover of the keys.

“It’s just I’m so lucky to be able to sit as your VIP here.”

“What do you mean VIP? You are more than a VIP. You are VVVVVIP,” Minseok laughed. “Stop it and just play already.”

Yixing smiled. “Yes, My Love.”

The melody Yixing was playing was light and heavy. It has transient feeling like it was fleeting and painful but also warm and soothing. He felt like he heard that melody somewhere. He felt in the faraway distant he heard Yixing sang although Yixing in front of him didn’t utter a single word.

_“”Baby, call my name if you remember tonight. We ended our time on this night._

_Used to be the one, yes it breaks my heart. Where did you go? Why are you so far away?_

_I’m falling, I’m falling down. Everyone’s happy now but I’m alone tonight._

_Don’t let me, don’t let me drown. It’s too late to say I love you, babe, goodbye.””_

When Yixing stopped playing, Minseok cried.

“Yixing… Why does this song have very sad lyrics?”

“What do you mean, hyung? This song haven’t had any lyric? I haven’t decided if it would be a sad ballad or happy yet mellow one. But I take it as you really love the song.” Minseok was sure Yixing was singing. He was sure he heard the lyric somewhere.

Yixing stretched his hand to him and Minseok reached for it. He followed his guide to get closer to his lover to his laps, facing him. Yixing smiled softly before took his face closer and kissed him. He kissed him gently before it changed into a fiery one that took Minseok’s breath away. When they parted, Minseok saw so much passion in those warm eyes.

“I love you, hyung…”

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, Minseok-hyung... please… If it’s my fault, please forgive me… please, please…” Yixing was sobbing as he hugged him so tightly, it hurt._

_Minseok fisted his palms as he tried hard to compose his stands. He broke away from the painful hug and walked away from the shocked man. As he was in the door, he looked back and said, “I’m sorry for being a weak person, Yixing,” and left him for good._

_“Hyung! No!”_

Minseok jolted as the vision hit him hurt, he crashed into the piano behind him and making a loud bad sound. If it wasn’t for he was in Yixing’s laps and being held, he was surely falling hilariously.

“Hyung! You okay?” Yixing looked so worried. Minseok was speechless. The vision felt so real and felt like a lie. It was so heartbreaking he didn’t know he was capable to inflict such damage to this gentle man. He hugged Yixing tightly, afraid if all of this was just an illusion and that vision was real. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he ever made his love went through that sadness.

“Yixing…”

“Are you sure you are okay, hyung? You look pale.”

“Yixing...” he started to sob.

“Hyung? Are you sick anywhere? You’re trembling. Oh God.” Yixing was panicked and was going to take a look at him but Minseok shook his head and didn’t release his embrace. Yixing was perplexed at Minseok’s sudden change of attitude but chose to let the man crying to his heart content, and hugged him back, patting his back softly to calm him.

Minseok kept chanting ‘I’m sorry, ‘I love you’ until he passed out in Yixing’s embrace.

It was already morning when his consciousness back. He woke up groggily as all his body felt stiff from bad position of sleeping. When he came to it, he realized he was in the backseat of a car. It was still dark outside but he could see the light of the sunrise was shyly peeking. He sat up and tidied his blanket and looked outside.

He saw a silhouette of his lover standing as he looked at the horizon. Oh, yeah, they were coming to a beach for sunrise, weren’t they? Hmm? Were they really? Why there was a piano playing faintly in his mind? His memory was hazy but somehow he didn’t care. He had to be falling asleep when they were waiting the night to pass.

He opened the car door and walked closer to his lover. He put a blanket he took with him on his lover’s shoulders. “You’re not freezing to death right, Junmyeon-ah? How dare you enjoying the sunrise alone although we came here together.”

The said man turned his head to him and smiled.

“You’re up already. You were sleeping like a baby before. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Now I’m a baby? You said I’m an old man before. And we just had a year difference. What the hell.” Minseok grumped. Did he really say that? When? He felt like it was happened before but why he couldn’t remember anything regarding it? He was really old, huh.

Junmyeon laughed. He then hugged Minseok from behind and held his hands close. “You are forever my baby, Minseok-ah. But you are also an old man, so it’s a bit complicated.”

“You realize you’re just a year younger than me, don’t you?”

“Don’t dwell into petty details.” Junmyeon said seriously and Minseok was going to protest but then the sun started to show itself in the horizon and he forgot that he was supposed to be angry.

“Junmyeon, look! It’s so pretty!” Minseok was excited and was going to release himself from Junmyeon’s embrace and run closer to the sea to watch the sunrise closer but Junmyeon didn’t budge. He wouldn’t let him off.

“Junmyeon-ah-“ Minseok was going to whine, turning his head to his lover but instead of the sunrise, Junmyeon was making a hole into his face. Minseok blushed.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re too clos-

“You are prettier, hyung.” Junmyeon said in a seriously calming tone.

“What?”

“I said you are prettier than the sunrise.” He said again, his eyes bored into his own. Minseok couldn’t make a smarty comeback as Junmyeon looked very infatuated, it made him awkward and shy. What was wrong with this man? He remembered Junmyeon really loved his eyes and said that they were very pretty although they were monolid. But that was it. He never compliment him anywhere else. That was why he felt awkward when he suddenly did.

And at that time it was like some kind of work. Huh? Work? Did they work together before? No way. He never worked with Junmyeon. They were childhood friends. Huh? They were childhood friends?

“Y-you’re embarrassing me…” Minseok said in defeat. Junmyeon laughed before kissing his nape.

“You know that I love you so much, don’t you?”

_“I’m sorry I can’t protect you. But I really hope you’ll think it over, Minseok-ah. I…” Junmyeon looked so down. His usually shining eyes seemed to lose their spark. As much as it hurt Minseok, he was stubborn._

_“Nothing I need to think over. It’s over for me. I can’t do this anymore.” Minseok’s voice was stern and cold. Even he himself could tell that it didn’t sound like him at all._

_“Minseok… please…” Junmyeon’s voice was pleading and broken. But Minseok ignored him and walked away._

His felt his heart panged in pain as the sudden rush of vision came to his mind. It felt so real that he felt his eyes hot and watery. It was good thing Junmyeon couldn’t see him have a sudden mental breakdown. He didn’t want to make his lover worry.

“Are you cold, Minseok-ah?” he asked worriedly as he was trembling hard and grabbed their holding hands tight.

“I forgot you are weak to cold. An old man indeed.” He laughed as he hugged him tighter. Minseok enjoyed the warmth Junmyeon shared and the happiness in his voice. Minseok couldn’t have it any other way. Junmyeon was supposed to be happy like this.

“Do you want to go inside the car? The sun already raised but it’s still windy.” Junmyeon suggested. Minseok nodded and hurriedly wiped away the trace of his tears.

“Junmyeon-ah… have I ever hurt you so hard before?” Minseok asked when they already sat in the backseat, cuddled to each other.

“What do you mean? We are the perfect couple! Everyone is jealous with us! What to fight about? There’s none. We are perfect like that.” Junmyeon bragged, making Minseok laughed.

“You know… I have this bad dream where I hurt you. It was so scary.” Junmyeon laughed again then hugged him closer.

“You are a human embodiment of cuteness. You can’t act cruel and that’s a fact. If someone told me that you were actually an angel, I would believe them.” Minseok laughed at his exaggeration.

“What’s that? If there’s angel, it was you. You are supposed to be our guardian angel, Suho, aren’t you?”

Junmyeon laughed so hard. “What was that? Whose guardian angel? Who does this ‘our’ refer to? I’m only yours, Minseok-ah. And Suho? You must be still sleepy, love. You’re talking nonsense.”

Junmyeon was right. What the hell was he talking about? What was with ‘our guardian angel’? What was even Suho? But somehow he felt familiar with such name.

“… I might be crazy.”

“You are. Sleep more, Minseok-ah. I’ll drive to nearest restaurant. We need breakfast. What do you want?”

“I want some kimchi stew.”

“Okay.”

Junmyeon moved to the driver seat as Minseok shifted into a more comfortable position to sleep in the backseat. While he was pondering about that weird memory, he was drifted into sleep.

Minseok faintly felt something wet on his face. And when he grudgingly woke up, he saw a black fluff in front of face.

“Toben!” he called the little dog. He wondered how he knew the dog’s name. Wait! It’s his husband’s dog.

“Chanyeol!” he scolded his husband who enjoyed the scene across the room.

“It was your own fault to sleep in the living room, hyung. Toben just wants to play with you.”  Chanyeol came closer and sat next to him as he made space for the tall man. Toben climbed his owner’s laps happily.

“Why I even slept here… I can’t remember,” he mumbled in confusion.

“Did you say something, hyung?” Chanyeol asked while playing with Toben.

“No… it’s nothing… I guess.” Minseok didn’t want Chanyeol worried that he felt out of place since he woke up just now. There was a faint memory that he was not here before he woke up. He fiddled with his fingers as he still could smell a faint scent of salt and dry wind.

He laughed bitterly. It was impossible. He was here, in their house since the morning. Their house? Why can’t he remember anything? Wait. Why he felt déjà vu like he was pondering the same thing again and again?

“Hyung? Minseok-hyung, you okay?” Chanyeol shook his shoulders. Toben was already nowhere in sight.

“Uh, yeah. I’m okay. It’s just… to be honest, I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be here. It’s like I had been going everywhere and there’s somewhere I’m supposed to be.” He didn’t know what he was talking about but it just felt that way. But it seemed that wasn’t the case for Chanyeol. There was horror in his face when Minseok finished his talk to look at him.

“H-hyung… what do you mean? This is your house, our house. Where you should be if not here?” Chanyeol grabbed his shoulders tightly as if his life depended on it. He looked frantic and it confused Minseok.

“No… I won’t let you go, hyung. You are my husband. And... and we already lives together for years… why did you say so? Are you bored with me? Do you find other person you love more than me?” Chanyeol looked so lost it hurt Minseok. How could Chanyeol think of him like that? Didn’t he trust his love to him?

No. It was a usual occurrence. Chanyeol was a bit special. He worried easily and deeply. It was Minseok’s fault to say that. But how could he forget about it before?

“Chanyeol-ah, I’m sorry-

“No! Hyung! Don’t leave me… don’t leave me… don’t leave me…” Minseok somehow felt a sense of familiarity in his saying and it wasn’t about how Chanyeol had a mental breakdown once in a while. It was like a different Chanyeol who said it but how could it be.

“I won’t leave you. Chanyeol… never… I love you, crybaby. I won’t go anywhere.” Minseok hugged the bigger man and let him crying in his chest. The big man looked so small when he was like this.

“Don’t leave me... don’t leave me… I love you, hyung… I love you…”

_“Don’t leave, hyung. Please…” Chanyeol begged. Tears streamed on his handsome face. He looked small when he cowered like that. Minseok always had a weakness for it but this time he wouldn’t give in to his inner voice that screamed at him to turn back to run to the younger man and hug him._

_But he had enough of the situation. He couldn’t take it anymore. He felt that he had to leave._

_Swallowed up his weakened resolution, he walked firmly to the door and left the younger man alone._

Minseok’s eyes widened in horror at the vision of him leaving the love of his life cruelly. There was no way he would do that. Minseok knew Chanyeol for so long. He accepted him as he was like how Chanyeol accepted him as he was. So it was impossible that he would leave him.

But why did he have that vision? And why did the vision felt so nostalgic as if he had experienced it before? What was that? Why did he have them? It wasn’t even a déjà vu. It felt so real that it made him angry at Minseok in that vision.

He hugged his Chanyeol, who was still mumbling his fear, tightly. He wouldn’t leave him. Never.

“Chanyeol… I won’t go anywhere… stop crying… I’m here… always…” He kissed his tears away.

“Forever?” Chanyeol looked like a kid.

“Yeah forever… We’ll be together forever.”

He led Chanyeol to their bedroom and sat him on the bed. He took out something from the night drawer and gave it to Chanyeol as if the most natural thing to do. “You can bound me if you need to. Like always…”

Chanyeol looked at him innocently with eyes still teary as he accepted the thing. When Minseok came down to it, he was giving Chanyeol a rope. Was that how it was normally for them? Why he didn’t remember any of it? But as Chanyeol skillfully tied him up, his body felt quite comfortable being bonded.

It was always rough when Chanyeol had mental breakdown like this. Yet, if it was supposed to be how it usually was between them, why he felt like it was the first time for him? But why his body seemed to accept Chanyeol willingly?

Chanyeol was sleeping after their little rendezvous. Untied and cleaned up prettily, Minseok basked in the soreness and ache it resulted. Chanyeol was hugging him tight in his middle. Minseok caressed the soft tresses of his love. Before he fell asleep due to tiredness, he noticed how the newly formed bruises from the rope in his wrists and the bite marks all over his body overlapped the old ones.

Minseok woke up feeling sluggish and tired. He wondered what the hell he was doing yesterday.

“Hyung, why you already woke up? It’s still seven.” Jongin mumbled in his nape. Minseok just realized he wasn’t alone in the bed.

“It’s already seven, sleepyhead. We have a practice at nine.” He said as he tried to pull out from the bear hug. Jongin mumbled incoherently but Minseok could tell it was a disagreement to wake up that early.

“Come on, Nini. We need to take a bath, cook breakfast and eat. There’s a lot to do.”

“Nooooo,” he whined cutely. Minseok grinned at his husband… husband, right? Huh? Anyway, he had the urge to kiss the thick sexy lips of his husband so he did.

“Come on, get up, or I’ll go bath alone.” Minseok pulled him up. Jongin grumbled more but obeyed Minseok to go to the bathroom. Jongin seemed to wake enough as the water hit their body and they started to play around and wasted some times. Well, that was why they needed to wake early.

Minseok was cooking breakfast which was surprised himself. Was he always able to do this? He remembered he wasn’t your kitchen person. But somehow he could fix a decent breakfast for the two of them. They ate quite safely and Minseok somehow proud of himself.

They came to the studio quite early so Minseok bought some coffee for both of them. Jongin made a disgusted face when he received the cup. Minseok laughed.

“Why you give me this poison?” Jongin protested.

“It’s not coffee. It’s latte. And coffee isn’t poison, you brat.” Minseok hit his shoulder lightly.

“Still a bit bitter.” Jongin frowned after he took a taste. But still, he drank them all. Minseok smiled. He remembered the first time Jongin said that coffee tasted like poison was in an interview. Eh? What interview? Wait. Jongin never had any interview about the drink he disliked. What was with that sudden weird thought?

While Minseok trained modern dance, Jongin was a contemporary dance star. He was often paired with beautiful girls. It was still quite annoying to look at, like right now. He had a couple performance this week. How did he knew when he didn’t really remember his yesterday activity? It felt like the idea just popped up in his head. That was weird. Anyway, Minseok didn’t like it but Jongin looked the coolest when he danced. He looked so stunning and beautiful.

“You know we are just dance partners, hyung.” Jongin said when they had lunch break.

“Of course, I know. I’m still jealous nevertheless.” He mumbled after he bit his sandwich. Jongin kissed his bulging cheek.

“I like it when you are jealous, hyung. It means you really care for me. You have no idea how long I’ve been pinning on you.” Jongin said with a nostalgic smile.

Minseok looked at him with a smile.

“But you know… sometimes I feel like it would be great if I were girl so I can dance with you.”

“Hyung… if you were girl, I’d see you differently.” Jongin laughed bitterly. Well he was always awkward with people, especially girls.

“Ah… I’m glad I’m a man.” Jongin laughed genuinely this time then stole a peck from him.

“I love you so much, you know.”

_“Can’t you… can’t you stay, hyung?” Jongin was trying to hold his tears._

_“I can’t. I’m not that strong… I’m sorry, Jongin-ah.” He said tiredly._

_“But hyung… why? At least tell me why, hyung?” His tears broke into a desperate sobbing._

_Minseok didn’t feel like sharing his burdening feeling to the younger man. He was going to cry too if he talked more than this. But he felt like he owed him at least an explanation._

_“It’s because-“_

“Hyung, why are you crying?” Jongin frantically wiped his tears.

“Eh? I cry? Why?”

“That’s what I want to know, too, hyung.”

Minseok didn’t have the answer. The flash of vision he saw made his heart wrenched in pain. And he felt like there was more of it. In the vision he was going to leave Jongin. But why? The vision was cut and he wondered if that was a good thing not to know about the reason or not. He was somehow afraid to know. There was this feeling he experienced this vision more than once or twice. It was like his memory was being cut off again and again.

“Are you feeling not well? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”

Minseok didn’t feel not-well. But his feeling did. So he nodded at the offer. Jongin carefully helped him stood and walked although he didn’t need any help.

“Careful, hyung,” he said when they had to go down the stairs. Minseok nodded as he walked down but suddenly someone who ran hurriedly bumped into him and Jongin’s hand that was on his shoulder let off and Minseok felt imbalance and he could feel in slow-motion that he was falling the stairs. Jongin was screaming his name as he tried to reach down to catch him but it was too late. Minseok felt the pain as the back of his head collapsed with the tiles. 

Minseok was woken up with a jolt. He was dreaming of falling but he didn’t remember the detail of his dream of what made him fall. He sighed. What a bad dream.

He looked around and noticed that he was alone in the bed. This was his first time he woke up to no one around. He wasn’t sure but he felt he was around someone before. But he couldn’t pinpoint who. It felt like he was with someone but this someone was never the same person. It was a weird feeling. He tried to ignore the strangeness and proceeded to go to the bathroom.

As he entered the bathroom, he took his toothbrush and pasted some toothpaste on it. He lazily looked up to the mirror and saw a womanly figure reflected on it. That was… him? Was he always been a woman? But why he refer himself as he?

He neglected his toothpaste and ran out of the bathroom.

“Sehun! Sehun!” he called the name of his husband that was suddenly popped up in his, uh, her mind. Even his, no, her voice sounded womanly.

Sehun came from the garage looking confused. How the hell Minseok knew that it was a garage? He didn’t understand too. He just knew.

“What’s wrong, Love?” he asked cutely. His face was dirty with oil. He was repairing their car so they can go for a trip in this holidays after all. Again, this idea was just popped up in her head. She had no idea of any vacation before this second. This was weird.

Upon seeing her younger husband, she forgot what she was being panicked for. A wave of relief washed over her for no reason. Why was she so nervous? Why did she feel like she was glad she wasn’t alone? She thought she was someone who wasn’t easily lonely. Or was she? The thought of Sehun leaving her was something she was afraid of.

“You’re thinking bad stuff again, aren’t you?” Sehun scolded gently as he walked closer to her. Minseok meekly nodded and Sehun smiled.

“Wait a minute. I’ll wash up a bit then we can have a tea time to relax.” Minseok nodded again and saw Sehun walked to their bathroom.

Minseok went to the dining room and prepared tea for them. It was a good day. Minseok thought she was getting sleepy after folding some clothes and slept for a minute. Their car needed a little fix and Sehun tried to fix it. They promised their children they’re going for a trip to the countryside.

Children... they had children? Who were they? Why couldn’t she remember? She tried to look at the photo frames on top of the drawers but for some weird reason, as much as she looked at them, she couldn’t register their faces. It was like she couldn’t remember any face beside her husband.

“Darling, you okay? Your brows knit together.” Sehun touched the middle of her brows. And she sighed.

“I don’t know, Sehun-ah.. I feel like I’m not myself today. Where is ---- and ------ ?” Minseok was sure she was saying some names, her kids name. But she couldn’t comprehend her own words.

“Ah… they’re going to play to Suho-hyung’s house when you were sleeping.” Sehun said as he poured some tea, continuing her stopping preparation.

“Suho… why does that name sound familiar?” she asked unconsciously. Sehun laughed.

“Of course it is. He is my older brother. Now our neighbor, though.”

“He is?” Minseok was genuinely surprised it worried Sehun. Minseok was sure he knew that name in a faraway and distant memory and she was sure Suho in her memory was none of a brother of anyone.

“Minseok… you’re being weird. Really.” There was a discomfort look in Sehun’s face that caught Minseok off guard. So Sehun thought she was weird. She knew it. Huh? What did she know? That Sehun was too good for her. Was it always like that? She was no good for anyone. Sehun would leave her, wouldn’t he?

Tears started to drop from her eyes and Sehun was so shocked.

“Nuna!” he hugged her immediately.

“Nuna… what’s wrong?” Sehun rocked her body softly to calm her.

“You… you said I was weird… I… you will leave me because you are disgusted at me, right?” she cried hard now. What the hell was going on with her? Was she this sensitive? She couldn’t control her emotion at all.

“No… I won’t leave you… don’t be silly.” Sehun hushed her calmly like it was an everyday occurance.

“You called me silly! I’m a silly woman. You hate me. I’m going to be fat and ugly and I’m weird and silly! No one will like me!” She was legit hysteric Minseok thought she was going crazy. What was with this emotional roller coaster she felt?

“You hate me! You hate me!” She struggled in his embrace and hit his chest as strong as she could in that position.

“Nuna, no. I don’t hate you. Never. You are just pregnant and not fat.” Sehun reasoned patiently. He still held her firmly but not too strong so he wouldn’t hurt her. Minseok knew. It happened before, almost daily. And also in her previous pregnancy. She knew she was being stupid but she couldn’t control it.

Wait! No. She didn’t know that she was pregnant. She was pregnant? How? She was a man. No, she was a woman? But she wasn’t supposed to be pregnant. It was just impossible, right?

“No. You hate me! You’ll leave me because I become ugly. My face will be bloated and my feet will too. And my belly… my belly will be like a big balloon! Oh God!”

“Nuna… stop it. You are beautiful no matter what. I’m so lucky to have you, you know that.” Sehun’s voice was almost pleading. But Minseok was screaming harder. That was weird. Although she understood Sehun, she couldn’t understand him. What was wrong with her head?

“No! NO!” she was crying for some time and Sehun just hugged him, not once letting her go. He caressed her hair lovingly although she was going berserk in his arms. It was a funny scene if only it was not her the perpetrator was.

Minseok finally stopped screaming. Feeling tired. She was just a sobbing mess inside Sehun’s safety embrace.

“I will always by your side. I will always love you no matter what you become.” Sehun whispered softly as she was beyond tired and in the end of his consciousness.

_“Minseok-hyung… Minseok-hyung… please, please stay with me… Minseok-hyung!” In darkness Minseok could hear Sehun’s desperate voice calling up for him. But he couldn’t move his body nor could he open his eyes to see him. His body felt hurt all over and he thought the pain was too much that he was being numb._

_In distance he could hear the sound of crowded people closing in, passing cars and Sehun still persistently calling his name. With his consciousness steadily slipping away from him, he wanted to tell him that he was too loud. Minseok was too tired for all of these._

Minseok woke up crying. It felt so painful. What was with that realistic dreaming? Why he kept dreaming of these painful things? Wait… he wasn’t a he. He was still a she. Wait what did she mean by ‘still’? Wasn’t she always a she? But on those dreams she was a man. Hmm? What dream did she dream? Did she dream that often? What was that? She was so confused.

“Sweetheart, are you okay? Why are you crying? Did you have a bad dream?” Jongdae asked her. Seeing his husband worried face, she broke into a harder cry as she jumped to his arms.

“It was scary. I keep hurting people precious to me.” She sobbed.

“In your dream? Who are these people?” Jongdae’s soothing voice calmed her down a bit.

Minseok released herself from his hug to look at him properly. She tried to remember the faces. It felt like there were many faces of people she held so dear. But she couldn’t remember.

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re in one of them. I don’t know. I can’t remember anything. But it felt so real. Jongdae. Have I ever hurt you? Wait no. I already asked you this. Uh? Was it you I asked? No… I don’t know. My mind is a mess.” Minseok mumbled frantically.

“Nuna, you okay?” Jongdae cupped her face gently.

“I don’t know. I feel weird. There’s this memory in my mind that I don’t remember to have. Do you think it was memory of my past lives?” Jongdae laughed.

“It might be. Did you meet me in those memories?”

“Nope.”

“No?” Jongdae pouted. Minseok smiled.

“But it was a good thing, Jongdae-ya. In those memories, I kept hurting the people who were important to me. I must be a bad person in my previous lives.” Minseok cringed at the idea of her being a bad person. Jongdae just laughed.

“There’s no way a hamster looking girl like you being cruel to another creature.”

“I know right? I’m like the cutest and kindest girl on Earth. Wait! I’m no longer a girl! Call me Madam Kim!” Jongdae laughed harder.

“You’re still a girl in my eyes, nuna.” Jongdae flirted. Minseok pushed his face away playfully.

“Don’t you think I’m reborn in this lifetime to make amend of my previous lives’ sins? Because I was such a bad person before, now I must be a good person and give love as much as I can.”

“I’m so lucky to be the one who receives that much love from you.” Jongdae kissed her nose. Minseok backed away.

“Who said I’m gonna give my lots of love only to you?” Minseok teased.

“What? You’re not going to give me much?” Jongdae whined. “Why~~~? You don’t love me?” Minseok laughed at her husband’s cuteness.

“Just kidding, baby. I love you. I even gave you my first born.” She joked.

“What do you mean by your first born? She is ours! I was participating in the making, wasn’t I?” Minseok laughed. Wew. She just knew she had a daughter. Well, whatever.

“Were you?” She continued to tease.

“Kim Minseok, I’m going to be angry.” Jongdae warned but the corner of his lips curled up slightly.

“Yes, please.” She grinned.

“I warned you.” He said before he jumped her and attacked her with merciless tickling. They laughed so much their stomach hurt, especially her. Her body hurt all over. They ended up cuddling in the bed.

“I don’t know about your past lives. But I’m glad in this lifetime I met you. This you. This Minseok.” Jongdae breathed on her lips before he kissed her.

“Me, too. I’m glad you meet a good Kim Minseok.” She chuckled. Minseok yelped as Jongdae suddenly pulled her into a hug. The scent of her husband calmed her.

“Kim Minseok! I love you!” Suddenly he screamed and she laughed.

“Yah! Kim Jongdae, you’ll bother our neigh-

_“Hyung… please come back… I… I’ll do anything… please…” There was a crying Jongdae beside him. He looked so thin. It looked like he was neglecting his balance diet for a while. How could he be so reckless?_

_“Hyung… hyung…”_

_‘Stop it! Don’t call so desperately. I’m not worth it.’ He wanted to say but he didn’t. Instead, he stared blankly at the crying man pouring all his broken heart into the floor._

“… Jongdae…”

“Hmm?”

“I think I find you in my past life.” Minseok’s whisper died on his shirts.

“How was it? Did you hurt me, too?” Jongdae asked calmly.

“I think I did.” Jongdae could feel his chest wet. He hugged her tighter and kissed the crown f her head.

“It’s okay, Minseok-nuna. I don’t mind being hurt by you. I’m sure that Jongdae didn’t mind that much too. Even if he did, he’d forgive you. Cause I will if I were him.”

“Do you think I would be forgiven?” Minseok whispered softly.

“Of course… because you are very precious to us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah… for me and ------.”

Minseok smiled. “Thank you, love. Just so you know, that bastard Minseok actually loved that poor Jongdae too.”

“Hmm? How did you know?”

“I just know.”

“I believe you.” Jongdae said sincerely. Minseok chuckled.

“Now that I’m forgiven, I’m tired and sleepy.” Minseok mumbled as she yawn.

 “You’re just making excuse to go to sleep.”

“Teehee.”

Jongdae laughed too. “Sleep. I’ll be with you when you open your eyes.”

“Hmm,” Minseok hummed as she deserted to slumber land.

“Minseok-ah… Minseok… Minseokie… Cutie Seokie…” Faintly he heard someone calling him so freely. In annoyance, he launched a lazy punch to the perpetrator.

“Ouch! You hit my nose.” Serve you right, Minseok thought in his mid-sleeping.

“Oh God! It’s bleeding!”

Minseok was immediately alert and faced the annoying person bothering his sleep. Cute face which definitely didn’t bleed anywhere.

“Byun Baekhyun!” Baekhyun laughed as Minseok tackled him down to the bed. They wrestled for some more time before exhausted themselves and ended just laying boneless on the bed.

“I just woke up and I’m already tired.” Minseok talked to the ceiling.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun responded.

“I wasn’t talking to you- wait!” Minseok immediately sat up, confusing the younger man beside him. “I’m no longer a girl!”

“Were you ever?” Baekhyun asked curiously. Minseok glared at him.

“Of course that’s impossible, but… I feel there’s a time… hmm? What is it?” Minseok was confused by himself.

“Did you dream being a woman? Maybe you were into your role last night. We did some girly role play yesterday.” Baekhyun helped, suggesting an idea of a reason.

“I’m not!” Minseok blushed at the popping memory of him and Baekhyun role playing as female nurses. The worse time of his life. Just because he couldn’t remember any of it. Wait. No… Why couldn’t he remember it? Was he drunk? Did it really happen? But the scattered nurse outfits on the floor said it happened. Somewhat.

Wait. Why it was Baekhyun beside him? Shouldn’t it be Jongdae? But, who was Jongdae? Wasn’t he Baekhyun’s best friend?

“Baekhyun-ah, I think I’m going crazy.” Minseok started.

“Why?”

“In memory I was sleeping with Jongdae before.” He said in confused tone.

“What? You were sleeping with Kim Jongdae?” Baekhyun looked so shock. His face was red.

“No! No! No! Not that kind of sleeping, you pervert!” Minseok blushed at the accusation.

“Not?”

“Not.”

Baekhyun sighed in relief.

“Yeah… We’re just sleeping side by side.” He continued to explain.

“Side by side…” Baekhyun parroted.

“Hugging.”

“Hugging?!” Baekhyun looked shocked again.

“Just hugging, okay!” Minseok tried to reason.

“Okay… just hugging.” Baekhyun looked displeased, though. Minseok felt somehow pity and endeared. “When? Where?”

“I don’t know. Once upon a dream?” Minseok suggested because he was really not sure.

“Kim Minseok you are teasing me.” Minseok laughed as Baekhyun make an annoyed yet confused look.

“No, I’m not. I’m just telling you my weird dream. I even become a woman in my dream. I must be very tired.” Baekhyun smiled this time. And Minseok smiled back.

“By the way, where are we?” Minseok looked around. Somehow it looked so familiar.

“In your parent’s house.”

“My parent’s house?” Well it did look like his parent’s house. “In My parent’s house and yet we played nurses? What kind of blasphemy-

Baekhyun covered his mouth fast. “We don’t want they hear that now, do we?” Minseok nodded quickly.

“You took too long at your parent’s house. Are you that happy to be far that long from me? And here I thought you love me.”

“Of course I love-

Minseok blushed. Was it always this hard to admit he loved his husband? His own fucking husband! He felt like he said it tons before to… to whom? To people in his dream. Ha!

“Iloveyou,” Minseok said in one breath. Baekhyun laughed but didn’t pester him for more decent love confession. Instead he cradled his face close and kissed him soft and firm.

“I love you, too, my beloved.”

Oh, no, that vision again-

_Baekhyun looked gloomy and depressed. There was no light in that usually bright face. Minseok hated it when he was like that. He would barely talk and eat. But Minseok had no right to tell him off as he was the main reason of that pitiful Baekhyun._

_Minseok couldn’t tell how long had he cried. There were traces of tears on both of his now sunken cheeks and his eyes were bloody red. But he wouldn’t say anything, just looking at him with angry looks. But Minseok knew those anger wasn’t aimed to him but to himself. And Minseok was to blame._

_Those angry eyes was suddenly softened as they got watery again. Minseok wanted to put end to this misery but in his condition, all he could do was to look back at him._

Again. This vision again. This one somehow more vivid than the others. He was sure he saw this kind of visions several time although he wasn’t really sure what that was about. All Minseok could think was how happy he was now. Baekhyun was smiling right in front of him, hugging, kissing. He didn’t want to come back to that nightmare, anything it was.

If all of these were dream, he’d better sleeping forever so he could be happy forever with this happy Baekhyun or everyone in his supposed to be dreams before. In those vision, life was hard. All he did was hurting because he was being hurt.

“Baekhyun-ah… I love you…” Baekhyun blushed at the sudden brave confession.

“Whoa… Minseok-hyung… you embarrassed me. You sure not bumping your head?”

Minseok laughed and hugged him. He shook his head. I’m just happy. I’m so happy that I’m with you like this. I want to be like this forever.” Baekhyun smiled lovingly at him. But there were a hint of sadness on it.

“What’s wrong, Baekhyun-ah?” Baekhyun hugged him tight before released him to kiss his forehead.

“I love you, too, hyung… I want you to be happy with me forever, too, but-

“No but! I’m tired. Let me sleep for a bit. Wake me up at lunch.” Minseok ordered before he shifted to position himself more comfortable beside Baekhyun.

“Good night, Baekhyun.”

“Good night, love. Sweet dream.” Minseok smiled as Baekhyun whispered to him to sleep. Faintly he heard him say something more. “Wait for me… I’ll take you home, definitely.”

This time he woke up in the couch. He blinked away his sleepiness and tried to remember where he was. Oh, he was cleaning.

“Hyung, are you still tired?” Kyungsoo soft voice lulled him back to sleep.

“Hmm,” he hummed in respond.

“I’m going to the market. We need to some grochery.”

“M’kay.”

“Sweet dream…”

Minseok jolted in his sleep as he woke up in surprise. He was on Yixing’s arm being put down to the bed.

“Yixing…”

“Did I surprise you? You were sleeping so soundly. But you must be tired sleeping while sitting, so I thought you need a bed.” Yixing put him on the bed softly.

“Thank you.” Minseok smiled. “Sleep with me?”

“Sure.” Yixing said as he lied next to him.

“I’ll sing you to sleep.” Minseok nodded as he hugged his husband closer.

As Yixing hummed his favorite song, once more, Minseok drifted to sleep. Why he kept sleeping?

H blinked away his sleepiness because he wanted to hear more of…. The car stopped.

“You wake up in time, Minseok-ah. We’re here. You’re hungry, right?” Minseok nodded as he sat up on the backseat. He looked outside the window and see the restaurant.

Junmyeon opened the car door for him and he immediately follow his husband. Minseok was going to hold on Junmyeon’s hand who was walking in front of him but someone grabbed his first from behind, stopping him. Junmyeon kept walking forward and Minseok tried to release his hand from the other so he could catch on him but no avail. He turned around to see the person and was surprised.

“Byun Baekhyun…”

It was impossible. Baekhyun was… Baekhyun was… who was he?

He looked down at his hand that was held gently yet firmly by the other man.

“Baekhyun, why…”

Baekhyun just smiled. “It’s time to go home, hyung… We are waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me? But I… I left you…” Minseok started to cry. He remember the harsh thing he did and said to his brothers.

“Minseok-hyung… we need you. Please come back with us…” Baekhyun looked so sincere and genuine. He looked like he went on some terrible experience just to come here.

“I hurt you all... I’m a coward and a weakling... I’m-

“Hyung… We care for you. We only want you beside us. We love you... don’t leave us, please.”

“But I did an unforgivable things to you all.”

“You’re always be forgiven, Minseok-hyung…” A soft voice, Jongdae’s, suddenly was behind him. There were also Junmyeon, Kyungsoo, Yixing, Chanyeol, Jongin, and Sehun.

“Your Chanyeol may be not as weak as me, but he needs you, too, hyung.” Chanyeol said serenely.

“You are Kyungsoo’s favorite hyung, aren’t you, Minseok-hyung?” Kyungsoo smiled his heart-shaped smile at him.

“My Minseok may be cute but you are the only one who takes Sehun seriously when he needs it and being spoiled together when both of you need it. He misses you so much, hyung.” Sehun said with a chuckle.

“Jongin really admires you a lot, hyung, whether me or your Jongin. Please pay attention to him a lot too.” Jongin said half laughing half crying.

“Your Yixing might not as great as me here but we did care for you a lot, hyung.” Yixing showed off his dimples which made Minseok smiled too.

“Minseok… no matter how strong a guardian angel is, he still needs his best friend to support him. Your Suho did rely on you a lot. You are very important for him.” Junmyeon held his other hand to give him a firm grip of goodbye. Yes, this was a goodbye. He was being selfish all this time after all. It was time to come back home.

Minseok smiled at his husbands for the last time before he turned to Baekhyun and entwined their hands together. “Let’s go home, Baekhyun-ah.”

Baekhyun’s face brightened. He nodded then guided Minseok home. To his beloved brothers.

 --***--

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Minseok woke up with difficulty. There was some tube in his face and his body hurt all over. He couldn’t really move his hands and legs.

“Minseok!” a woman’s voice. His mother…

“Thank goodness.” She cried. “Wait a minute, dear, I’ll call the doctor.”

Why she was in a rush? Where was he?

“Minseok-hyung!” / “Minseok!”

Hmm? Sehun and Baekhyun. Baekhyun, you have to call me hyung, Minseok said inside his head as he couldn’t talk properly with this tube on his mouth.

“Hyung! I’ll call the others!” Sehun cried but he looked so relief and happy.

Baekhyun nodded before stood next to Minseok holding his hand. Minseok weakly tried to hold onto him back. He was crying too.

“How’s your feeling, hyung? Feel hurt anywhere? Somewhere in pain?”

‘Baekhyun, you talk too much.’ He wanted to say that. But all he could do was gapping his mouth like a goldfish.

“Do you need something? Are you saying something? Wait… can I put this off?” Baekhyun carefully removed the oxygen mask off his mouth. Now Minseok could breathe like normal. He then looked at Baekhyun and said something. But Baekhyun didn’t seem to catch it so he leaned down to put his ear closer to his mouth.

There was a lot of things Minseok wanted to tell him, like 'I'm sorry', 'I miss you', 'how have you been', 'did you eat well' and many things. But as he saw Baekhyun the thing he wanted Baekhyun to hear first was this only one. Minseok whispered softly with his coarse voice. “I’m home.” 

Baekhyun’s face lighted up as he smiled in his cry. “Welcome home, hyung.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N. First of all… I didn’t even know the heck I actually wrote. I actually wanted to make an angstier conclusion than this. Like the reason of those terrible flashbacks inside the dreams. But no time lol >< This story inspired by the way people dreaming (or is it just me?). How it was so disconnected but somehow you know what to do, you know the setting, you are someone else but you know who you are, but somehow there’re some moments when you questioning the realness of the world inside the dreams. Sometimes you connect the dream with another dream just because you remember a glimpse of it. In this case, Minseok keeps dreaming but some real memories get mixed.  
> A/N2. I’m very sorry about some parts being too messed up. I listened to different songs each members and I was listening to some depressing songs while writing ㅠㅅㅠ  
> A/N3. I was too used of writing bad pron that I forgot how to write a non pron story. And i'm bad at angst overall. Im sorry.  
> A/N4. Im deeply sorry for the admin(s). I let you down several times by not submitting on time fucking several times. ㅠㅠ and now I’m having an existential crisis. Help ㅠㅠ I don’t think I’m fit for ficfest


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